Four Episodes
Aired between 22nd March 1984 and 30th March 1984
Written by Anthony Steven
Produced by John Nathan-Turner
Directed by Peter Moffatt
Synopsis
The Doctor is unhinged.
He is arrogant to the last, thinking that his new regeneration is superior in every way, but his personality keeps shifting. On top of that, his dress sense is appalling as he chooses a god-awful jacket that must have come from the biblical Joseph.
Whilst this is happening, two twin math geeks - Romulus and Remus are abducted by an old man called Edgeworth and taken to a spaceship thanks to a narcotic patch.
The twins father calls the cops and Lieutenant Hugo Lang takes on the job of hunting them down.
The Doctor being told about his violent attack on Perri realises he's not in his right mind. He declares that he wants to live in isolation for a thousand years in penance (even though Perri is with him). He decides on Titan III as the perfect place to serve his atonement.
As they get there, they hear a ship crash landing. They check it out and find an unconscious Lieutenant Lang in the wreckage.
They take him back to the TARDIS but when he recovers, he accuses the Doctor of destroying his fleet and taking the twins.
Lang points a gun at the Doctor but faints again before he can pull the trigger. The Doctor starts to act selfishly by refusing to help the man after being threatened, but Perri shames him into it.
Once they've treated Lang, the Doctor looks outside and finds a building on the isolated asteroid. He and Perri check it out and get captured by two bird like aliens. The Doctor acts cowardly, begging them to kill Perri, not him.
They don't kill them though, instead, the aliens take them to Edgeworth.
The Doctor recognises Edgeworth as an old Time Lord known as Azmael - lord of Jaconda. They used to be friends. The Doctor realises that Azmael has abducted the twins and that he is using them to carry out complex math problems. They discover that someone else is ruling Jaconda now and forcing Azmael to do his bidding. Azmael looks sorry to do so, but he traps the Doctor and Perri inside his lab. The Doctor isn't worried though, he thinks he can find the combination for the door lock in a day or two. Unfortunately, one of the bird aliens has planted a bomb in the lab and it's ticking down.
Working fast, the Doctor uses some of Azmaels technology to teleport himself and Perri back to the TARDIS a little earlier in time.
Back in the TARDIS, Lang recovers and changes his tattered top. Perri arrives and he holds her prisoner. The building on the asteroid explodes and Perri thinks the Doctor's dead, but he turns up a short time later, alive and well.
They take the TARDIS in pursuit of Azmael to Jaconda. The planet is not the jungle paradise as expected though, it's delsolate and rocky and full of giant gastropod trails. Perri suggests going to the Palace to save Azmael and the planet ,but the Doctor doesn't want to as he fears for his life. He finally agrees to, but decides to go underground, beneath the palace instead. As they emerge, they find old cave paintings that depict a story of giant gastropods coming to Jaconda as retribution from a sun god. The gastropods were supposedly defeated, but the Doctor points out that clearly they weren't. They see two of the gastropods go by but as they attempt to sneak away, Lang gets his foot stuck in their hardening slime trails.
Elsewhere, the twins come face to face with Mestor. It becomes clear that Mestor has usurped Azmael's rulership of Jaconda and part of Mestor's plan is revealed to the twins. He intends to draw two planets into the same orbit as Jaconda. The kids are needed to stabilise their orbit.
The Doctor gets fed up of waiting for Lang to free himself and rushes off ahead to Azmael's lab, confronting him (and trying to strangle him). The only friendly Jacondan left and the twins restrain the Doctor long enough for him to regain his senses.
Perri gets captured by the Jacondan's and taken to Mestor who intends to kill her.
Lang, who managed to hide, rushes to tell the Doctor. Turns out though, even Mestor finds Perri attractive and decides to keep her alive for a little while.
The Doctor is brought to Mestor and he suggests that the giant slug let him help move the planets, especially since these planets will then be moved into different time zones using technology stolen from Azmael. He also bargains for Perri to be his assistant.
Mestor agrees and as the Doctor is snooping around the lab, he finds lots of gastropod eggs, engineered to withstand extreme heat.
He works out that the point of the planets is to put the eggs on them and send them to a time when the sun explodes. The eggs will be unharmed but will be shot into space to continue the gastropod's cycle of life and conquering of other planets.
Mestor uses the mind of Azmael's Jacondan friend to overhear their discovery, and knows that his game is up. The Doctor sends Perri, Lang and the twins back to the TARDIS, whilst he and Azmael gather some supplies from the lab and confront Mestor.
Mestor refuses to give up his plan and the Doctor hurls acid at him, but finds that Mestor is protected by a force field. Mestor shows his power by possessing Azmael. The Doctor then destroys Mestor's original body with a second vial before the slug can return to it.
Whilst Mestor is still alive, the ace up their sleeve is that Azmael was on his last regeneration, and therefore, when he forces himself to regenerate, the body dies and kills Mestor.
The Doctor takes a second to mourn his old friend and then goes back to the TARDIS. Lang decides to stay on Jaconda and help the bird people rebuild and the Doctor agrees to return the twins home.
Perri is still not happy with the Doctor's current regeneration, but he say's that he's the Doctor whether she likes it or not.
Trivia
- As you've probably seen, the story doesn't actually contain a dilemma about the twins
- Colin Baker was an odd choice to be a Doctor. Rumour has it that John Nathan-Turner saw Baker's exuberant and erratic side at a party and decided he'd be fun to have. Indeed, JNT modelled this Doctor somewhat on his own tastes and sensibilities - hence the bright coloured coat (he himself was a lover of gaudy Hawaiian shirts).
- Eric Saward thought that Colin Baker was not the right choice for the Doctor, but was forced to go along with it anyway.
- Much of the "messed up Doctor" was JNT's idea, as was the decision to end season 21 with a sixth Doctor story to get people used to him
- Colin Baker himself had different ideas, wanting to be dressed pretty much as the 9th Doctor would end up. He was overruled and had to wear the awful costume instead. He however did come up with the idea of the cat badge. This was intended to tie in the theme of a cat having 9 lives
- In 2009, when Dr Who magazine asked fans to vote on their favourite stories from the classic era, The Twin Dilemma came in dead last, whereas The Caves of Androzani came in first place
The Review
The Twin Dilemma is a different Doctor Who in all the wrong ways. John Nathan-Turner's vision for this Doctor was to shake things up, make him more edgy and unpredictable - almost a return to the crotchety old days of the first Doctor. He also wanted to get a story into the end of season twenty one so that the fans would get used to him before the next season started in the autumn. The theory behind all that is okay, but the reality was something much different.
You see, to make it work, for a start, the Doctor has to come full circle so that he's redeemed and back to "normal" by the end of the story. As you see by the end remarks (and will see by future stories) this crotchety regeneration gone wrong will carry on for most of his next season. Given the ballsy move to actually try to choke Perri out on screen too, this Doctor just comes across as a complete tw@t! I mean, there's very little in the way of redeeming qualities about him, and this is still the case by the end of the story (if you discount the brief glimpse of sorrow at Perri nearly dying or the actual death of Azmael). This would have undoubtebly left people at the end of the series looking in stunned disbelief and thinking - wow, this IS the new Doctor whether WE like it or not. Many would stop viewing because of this.
Also, the budget had been blown on the previous stories, so this is laughable in realisation of effects. Not something you want to put your new star into is it?
All this is before we even get into the baffling and pointless use of the twins.
Many people take the mickey out of the Jacondan bird people, but that is one aspect that I do actually like. They did a decent job of them, in light of the budget.
I would fully recommend watching just to the point of the Doctor getting his new clothes and then switch off. Switch it off, eject the disc (if that's still a thing) and throw it in the bin.
Rating
4 out of 10
Re-Watchability Factor
2 out of 10
Watch this if you liked...
- Vengeance on Varos
- Mindwarp (Trial of a Time Lord Parts 5-8)
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